Thank you for allowing me an extended blog vacation. I have been extremely over committed in many areas of my life and writing for pleasure has been one of the activities that has taken a back seat in the last month or so. I have a lot to get to and I will attempt to get back on some sort of schedule soon. In the mean time I wanted spew a little, and I have no Garth with a paper cup so, here it goes.
I have been a Youth Pastor for nearly 10 years now, on and off. I have had some terrible years in the past where I really didn’t follow Jesus and was probably the biggest hypocrite that I knew. This of course didn’t change the goodness of God or His ability to forgive me, but I have a lot of regret for how I represented Christ to certain people and how my own unhealthy, irresponsible or plain old sinful choices led to not being a great Youth Pastor at times. In fact, I feel that it has only really been since I have been at Georgianna that I have really grown past this old self and although I feel like God used me in the past, He was mostly using me despite me, where as now that is only occasionally the case. (still a work in progress).
I say all of this to say that it brings me great sadness when I learn of former students who really seemed to believe in Jesus walk away from their faith. Perhaps I shoulder more of this than I should. I am reminded of what I heard Craig Groeshel once said, “when you take credit for the decrease it’s only a matter of time before you start taking credit for the increase.” But as a Youth Pastor I do feel a real and strong sense of responsibility, especially when I feel that I could have done more. This is a feeling I am wrestling with, and the longer I am in ministry the more frequently it will happen (statistically speaking).
Maybe this is a sign that I actually care, or maybe it’s a sign that I have some messiah complex that needs resolved. Either way, I care about those who have been entrusted to me. Past or present.
So if you are a former student of mine and you are questioning things, I’m here. I’ll listen, and I’ll even try to listen more than I talk (which is difficult for me…). Trust me, you won’t bother me.